My Mamas

I had a very wise therapist tell me once, that no one woman could be everything to a child. As the child grows they will find other people to fill in the missing pieces and create a tribal mother - a multi-faceted mother. I always liked that idea, especially because it freed me from being angry at my own mother for all the ways I felt she had not fulfilled my needs. She did the job she was sent here to do and as the Ashanti say: "the child chooses the mother" so she did the job my soul needed her to do. It also released any guilt, and let's face it jealousy, I might experience when my own children sought out other mothers to nurture and feed them.

As I have grown I have widened my mother circle. Some I know in real-time, others have loved me through the pages of their words. Some of them are older than me and some younger. All of them have helped shape and create the woman I am today. And if I stand tall, it is "because I stand on the shoulders of my ancestors" those of blood and those of spirit.

Even though it is not mother's day, tomorrow is the birthday of one of my many Mamas. She is my mamasita, who is in no way small. The space she takes up in the world is large and noticeable. She takes no static. She has given me the gift of laughter, compassion, the absence of should, the freedom to curse and be myself at all times. Her love comes with only one condition, that I give it back. And I do with joy. This Mama and I are also joined by cancer. Me before her. And I count it a great gift to have been available for her through her journey as she was for me through mine. My love for her is boundless and my gratitude without measure.

Tomorrow is her birthday. And I say - Happy Birthday Mama, Norma. I love you deeply.

We are blessed may we recognize the blessing.

in peace