Monday, December 29, 2008

Time, Why you punish me?

I've been thinking about the passage of time. This Spring is my 20th high school reunion. 20 years?! Remember when 20 was old? And as we end this old year and begin a new one I wonder: "What have I been doing for 20 years?" Certainly a great deal, but it doesn't always feel as though a lot was accomplished. I hate getting nostalgic. Pulling out the old pictures and old music and adding a Parisesque rose-colored hue to my memories. Some of the things from high school sucked, as did some of the people. That's a hard time for everyone. Do we forgive the mean bullies from that time period who have friended us on Facebook because they now have spouses and children? Shouldn't they know the discomfort and pain they caused you back when your self-esteem and ego were brand-spanking new? Yup, I am one of those people who remember the bad things and don't really remember the good things. I am one of those people who can recall, with crystal clarity (at least according to myself) exactly where I was standing and what I was wearing when the initial slight was given. And I never remember the positive impact that I had on people, even if they told me.

Facebook. A strange place for longing to be created. But it has been. I miss the rose-colored times of my youth. I miss being free and able to stay out late at night and partay! I miss stupid location jokes and the luxury of time. And then I snap out of it and think, those times were no better than these times. This is the moment to make a happy memory. And this is the moment to look past petty memories (and actions, don't forget the actions!) of the past. I'm going to my 20th high school reunion and plan to see the people there in that moment and not through a kaleidescope from 1989!

Enjoy the passage of time.

Photo by: ToniVC


ilyakogan said...

What I find now that those mean things that were done to us were communication failures...

Some kids did them because they didn't know how to express their interest in you (sexual or otherwise.)

Other times they didn't even know that they were mean to you and it was you who perceived those actions as such.

The most striking experience is to find people that mirror your experiences with you being the callous senseless offender.

But to top it all are the cases when "the offender" was more scarred by the event.

That's what you get when put between four walls a bunch of people full of hormones, ambition, desires and fears of receiving attention from others - in other words the general psychotic mix commonly called adolescence.

Nanda Mama said...

I completely agree. Once again your comments are incredibly thorough and on point. I ask again: Will you marry me?

ilyakogan said...

I don't think so... Once is enough... :)

carriex3 said...

I agree, but you go girl, you are HERE, it is a miracle!! You let those old silly, good time friends know you loved life then, and you love it now:)