Thursday, January 1, 2009

My Obligatory New Year's Post




And here it is.....
Most of these posts are things that have been on my mind and I need a way to get them out and have them make some kind of sense. In a houseful of three brilliant, but still immature children, it is difficult to have these conversations with them. My husband would disagree. But I notice that children internalize our anger, frustration and yes, sadly, depression. So, in an effort to delay therapy, I have decided to write it here.
My thoughts lately have turned to being blessed. Remember a few years ago when it was in vogue to sign your emails with: Peace and blessings? I did it, most of the people I know did at one time or another. Then Namaste was de rigueur in email sign offs, whether or not you practiced yoga. About two years ago I decided to think about how I wanted to say good-bye in my emails. I know how notoriously convoluted email speak can be. And how often you are trying to say one thing but it comes out as something completely different leaving the reader offended or even sad. So, I decided that I wanted to leave my emails with a note to say: "hey, written communication is limited, so please forgive anything I might have said that might have offended you." But more than covering my own ass, I wanted to let people know that truly deeply inside I was writing from a place of love - otherwise I would definitely let them know that I wasn't. So, "in peace" was born. This is how I sign my emails and most of these blog posts. And it will probably stay that way, if for no other reason than to cover my ass. But another thought has been rattling around my brain lately. The thought about being blessed.

In the last year, I have had a lot of time to reflect on being blessed. I have suffered (and I choose my word carefully here) various forms of depression and illness throughout my short life. First by being anti-pharmaceutical, then by thinking that it was my lot in life to suffer (that was the playwright phase) then by over-embracing "better living through chemistry," then a near-fatal tango with cancer and finally through loss of hope. I suffered. Sometimes willingly and other times not so willingly. And during that entire time I kept going. I stayed alive. Granted the quality of said life might have been questionable, but I was here. That was my blessing. I lived through it and was given the opportunity to reflect. We are blessed everyday. Sometimes in the smallest of ways.

I wanted to remind myself of that, with everything I did, said or wrote. And that made me think of how I would change my good-byes in my emails and blog posts. With a simple reminder to allow Grace to show up for you. She's there, loving you and holding you up. However you define Her. Let Her do Her job.
Welcome to 2009!

My new good-bye:
We are blessed, may we recognize the blessing.

in peace

1 comment:

Norma said...

Beautifully written Keisha...
I love you dear girl. xoxo Norma